Your answers will show you exactly where you are and what's actually keeping you there.
This should take you 10 minutes.
Most people know they're in survival mode. What they don't know is exactly where they are on the way out of it or what's actually keeping them stuck.
These questions go underneath the surface. They look at how your body responds, how you relate to people, what happens when things get quiet. Your answers build a picture of where you genuinely are right now.
Take your time. Answer honestly. There are no right answers.
Question 1 of 15
01 / Identity
When was the last time you did something nobody would ever find out about and it felt completely like you?
Just you, when no one's watching. No performance. No strategy.
"Most people can't answer this quickly. The hesitation is worth sitting with."
02 / Approval
Think of a decision you made in the last year that felt right to you. Did you still check what someone else thought before committing?
Their opinion wouldn't change the facts. You needed them to confirm it anyway.
"This is about where safety lives for you. Nothing more than that."
03 / Presence
When something good happens, something you genuinely worked for, how long does it actually land for?
Before the next thing moves in. Before the restlessness.
"The way you receive what you've built tells you a lot about what your body believes it deserves."
04 / The body
When you're in a situation that's going well, a good relationship, a calm day, real stability, how does your body actually respond?
Answer with what your body actually does. That's the one that counts.
"Your body has its own answer to this. Whatever comes up is the one that matters."
05 / Roles
What role do you play so consistently that people would be surprised if you stopped?
The capable one. The calm one. The funny one. The one who handles things.
06 / Conflict
When someone close to you is upset with you, what's the first thing your body does?
Before you've thought about whether they're right or wrong.
"The body moves before the mind. That response tells you what got wired in early."
07 / Stillness
What happens when you have a full day with nothing to do and nobody needing anything from you?
No obligations. No excuses to stay busy.
"Stillness is where the stuff you've been outrunning tends to show up."
08 / Intimacy
When someone gets genuinely close to you, close enough to really see you, what happens?
Real closeness. Where they could actually see something you don't show everyone.
"The way you respond to being truly seen tells you where your nervous system draws the line."
09 / Needs
When you genuinely need something from someone, support, help, reassurance, how easy is it to actually ask?
Ask directly. Out loud. To their face.
10 / Feelings
When something genuinely upsets you, where does that feeling usually go?
Where it goes in your body. That's what matters here.
"Feelings that don't get felt tend to show up somewhere else eventually."
11 / Self-worth
How much of your sense of self depends on what you're currently producing or achieving?
If the results stopped tomorrow, who would you be?
"A lot of people have built an identity on doing. When the doing slows down, the floor disappears."
12 / Patterns
Is there a pattern in your life you've understood clearly for years and still haven't been able to stop?
You can see it coming. You still go there.
13 / Purpose
When you imagine a version of your life that feels fully yours, what gets in the way of that actually being real?
Be honest. The answer that feels uncomfortable to admit is usually the real one.
14 / The real question
If the role you play every day disappeared tomorrow, if people stopped needing you to be that, who would you be?
Write what comes up. Don't edit it.
"You don't have to have the answer. The discomfort of not having it is where the work starts."
15 / Right now
What feels closest to true for you right now?
Be honest. This is just for you.
Your reflection is ready.
Drop your email and I'll send it over. I'll also share things that are actually worth reading from time to time.